Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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