I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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