you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
