I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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