There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
