Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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