How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
you made out with another girl for some wings
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
