I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
