Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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