oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
