I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
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