At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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