At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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