He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I smell like Dick and happiness
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