omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you win again, gameday.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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