two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
