i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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