My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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