You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Someone came in the potted fern
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
