Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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