i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
