I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
