So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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