I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
