I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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