watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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