She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
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She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
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It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Sorry about my life...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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