she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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