If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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