your parents love me but you hate me
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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