i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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