he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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