I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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