even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Randomize
