I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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