Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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