This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
