My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
