He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
