I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
