I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
