dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize