do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
