used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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