I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So squirting runs in the family.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize