My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
