the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
