But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
