Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
