i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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