Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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