he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
