im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
