Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
