ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
