Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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