Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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