plz talk dirty to me
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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