another moral hangover. fuck.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
