On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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