ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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