Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
